do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize