p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
