you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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