Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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