Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
