So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
