After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
