yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
