i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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