She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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