Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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