would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
