Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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