you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
