she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
