Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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