Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
