i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
