Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
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