He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
