i wish starbucks made bloody marys
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She even gives head with a lisp.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
