Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
