She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
