When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
