found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
