Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Your cock deserves a montage
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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