"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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