Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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