thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
