are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm sobbing to NWA
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
