Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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