Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
