tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
