I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
