apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize