I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
