It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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