So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
