how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
