Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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