The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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