I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
