i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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