yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
