Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
