do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
