words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
