I am puke
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
