I wish I only lived at night.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Randomize