i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
