I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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