i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Randomize
