I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
