Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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