new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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