I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
