So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
