im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Randomize
