I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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